Road Trip pt 2: Lubango to Namibe

Continuing our road trip toward the rock art we drove from Lubango to Namibe September 8th. The landscape on this drive would change even more, going from the mountains into the desert.

We stopped at another mountain overlook called Serra da Leba.

I looked across the vast mountain ranges and down the cliffs 3300 feet below and saw two tiny white worm-looking things snaking up the road on the side of a cliff. I realized that it was a double gas tanker truck attempting to wind itself around a 15 degree curve. Honking echoed through the mountains as the trucks were attempting to warn oncoming traffic of their presence, since they had to take up the entire road on each of the 19 curves. Robert must have seen my pale face and said, “Doesn’t that look like fun?!”

Robert has driven that road before and also grew up navigating the mountains of Colorado. This thought helped...a little. So we piled into the vehicle and continued to Namibe--safely.

Steves

After a fantastic dinner we followed Uncle Steve back to his house outside the city. Uncle Steve has lived in Angola as an opthamologist doing cataract surgeries all over the country for the last 30 years or so.

He is a 78 year old bachelor who watches old westerns, crime dramas and Three’s Company. He also does all his own cleaning, makes his own bread every day and lives without running water, filling up buckets for baths and dish washing.

Uncle Steve travels two weeks out of the month restoring sight to the blind. He told stories of how soldiers tried to drive him out of Lubango during the war, but he refused to leave and continued to travel into town, having to cross over dead bodies to get to work at the hospital. He is one hard-core Canadian.

The next day, we went to the CEML (Evangelical Medical Center of Lubango) where Uncle Steve works as well as another medical missionary, Dr. Steve Foster.

Dr. Steve, as he is called, had offered to put Teague’s leg in a walking cast, since the clinic in Huambo (6 hours away) did not have the resources or expertise to perform such a task. As we talked with Dr. Steve, he too told war stories of refusing to leave his patients at the hospital, even at gun point. The military tried to take over the CEML and Dr. Steve and Uncle Steve held their ground.

Again, I had to pause with amazement at the unbelievable hardship these men had volunteered to live through. Not only had they volunteered to provide healthcare to people in a country with little and sometimes no infrastructure, but they did it for years in the middle of a war zone--coming face to face with decisions of self-preservation or perseverance in the name of Jesus.

What may be even more amazing is the sheer and boundless joy that emanates from their presence. Both Steves were constantly telling jokes and silly stories. Both Steves showed me a glimpse of the heart of God.

 

Road Trip: Huambo to Lubango

After a couple of days of rest in Huambo we set out to find the ancient rock paintings at Tchitudu Hulu. This would turn out to be the most epic road trip of my life (and I’ve been on plenty of road trips)! Teague and Robert were busily preparing for the journey ahead. Teague made us “Bier Rocks” which consisted of ground beef, cabbage, onion, salt and pepper wrapped in a ball of dough. Biruk made us cookies. Robert replaced the brake pads and balanced the tires on the Land Cruiser. We packed up and set out at 8am September 6th.

For the most part the 6 hour drive to Lubango was paved. But there were crater-like potholes that would appear out of nowhere. Robert, being the experienced pothole-dodger didn’t seem to be bothered. As we drove out of Huambo, which sits at an elevation of 6,000 feet, the landscape changed from dust with huge monoliths jutting straight out of the ground to dust with various bushes and Dr. Suess-esque trees called Baobab Trees.

We passed giant boulders piled up or sprinkled around and hills shaped like volcanos. For hours the only signs of civilization were mud or stick huts, the occasional vendor selling a sack of charcoal or eggs and the tiny boy herding his cattle or goats across the road at any given moment.

Our first tourist stop was Pula Lukwa, a fancy resort/restaurant in Lubango complete with a mini safari. We got to see several wild animals including zebras, a crocodile, guinea fowl and Oryx.

I imagined I would see a few wild animals out in the wild--but in our entire road trip I did not. Robert explained that the decades of war had either driven out or extinguished all the animals that used to live in Angola.

Next he took us to see a breathtaking overlook called Tunda Vala. I say breathtaking because I am terrified of heights. It was beautiful, but VERY high. My palms are sweating just remembering the views and watching the boys fearlessly look over the edge.

There were fascinating purplish pink rocks there, like I had never seen. Later I would encounter an artist shop using these pink rocks for his sculptures.

After the Tunda Vala Robert took us to Cristo Rei--another very high overlook. Then we headed back to Pula Lukwa for dinner. This is when we met our host for the next two nights, a medical missionary, Dr. Steve Collins, who everyone calls “Uncle Steve.”

 

Home in Huambo

My first night at the Meyers consisted of absorption of my new atmosphere and attempting to power through the 6 hour forward time jump. Robert had picked me up from the airport in Luanda (Angola’s capital) and we flew together to their hometown, Huambo. Normally they drive this distance, which would take 7-8 hours. But now the roads are so deteriorated it takes about 11-12 hours and much more wear on the vehicle.

We drove in the Meyers’ Land Cruiser from the airport to their house on mostly paved-ish roads, passing tiny motorcycles (motos) and women walking effortlessly with giant containers on their heads and babies strapped to their backs.

Within 25 minutes we were turning on a dirt road with enormous ridges and potholes.

Sprinkled along the side of the road were mud huts. Some had tin roofs secured with rocks. Others just had walls.

Eventually we arrived to a burgundy metal gate on a sandy cement wall.

A grinning man came out to open the gate. This is Manuel, the Meyers’ guard. He was so excited to see Robert and immediately greeted us in Portuguese.

Biruk and Efesson, the Meyers’ sons, as well as their two dogs, Navi and Diogo, also came out to greet us. I opened the door to the Land Cruiser and instantly understood how Teague had injured her ankle hopping down the 18” drop.

As I took in my surroundings, I was overwhelmed with the amount of work it has been for their family to be here. Robert built their house. This would be an accomplishment in the states to be sure. But here, where even plywood is in short supply and power is only as dependable as your generator, this is truly amazing. Biruk, the youngest Meyer, gave me the grand tour. He loved showing me all the trees Teague had planted, like Papaya, Avacado, Lemon, Mango and Banana.

He showed me the well his dad dug that was feeding their water silo. He showed me their two generators and their battery system. He showed me how they filtered their drinking water and turned on a pump to have showers (an upgrade, as of this year, from the bucket baths they were taking before).

All this was very normal for Biruk--a part of everyday life. Even to the point he didn’t realize some things to point out, like the mosquito nets around all the beds.

That evening, after a yummy meal of soup and homemade bread, we played Forbidden Island and watched I Love Lucy.

When I finally closed my mosquito net to go to sleep, listening to roosters crowing and dogs barking, my emotions mixed together. Thoughts of how very cushy and spoiled my life is mixed with feelings of admiration for the way Biruk and Efesson are growing up to live simply and with gratitude.

Renovo

Fear would probably best describe what I was feeling a few days ago. Fear of flying. Fear of being apart from my kids for 22 days. Fear of being so far away from my kids for 22 days. Fear of the unknown. Fear. 

In the moment before taking off from New York to Amsterdam for the 2nd leg of a 4 part flight plan to Angola, Africa, I actually had the thought...I could go home now and I would see my kids in about 3 hours. But once I get on this plane, I will literally be days away, 

Then I recalled a verse a friend shared with me before I left: 
3. You see me when I travel
    and when I rest at home.
    You know everything I do.
9. If I ride the wings of the morning,
    if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    and your strength will support me.
Psalm 139:3, 9-10

After meditating on that scripture for a while, God covered me in His peace. I was able to sleep on the red-eye flight and even immensely enjoy my next layover in Amsterdam (which you can read about here).

When I arrived in Luanda, my dear friend Robert Meyer met me at the gate. I was immediately at ease knowing I had gotten safely to Africa. I have known Robert since my freshman year of college at Harding in 2001. His wife Teague and I were roommates and in a club together. I have wanted to visit them in Angola since before they moved away in 2010. As I listened to Robert speak in Portuguese to all the security people and then to the cab driver, my focus began to shift. I started imagining how terrified Robert and Teague must have been to move here with their newly adopted boys. Getting on a plane knowing they would not see their families for possibly years (not just days). Not having a seasoned missionary to show them through the airport and take them to safety.

But they didn't waver. They got on that plane. Found their way. Built a house. Planted a garden. Made friends. Now they have been planting seeds for His Kingdom for over 5 years. I am truly amazed at my extraordinarily brave friends. I am so honored to witness the good work they are doing for Jesus. 

"Renovo" - The Angola Team's House Church

If You Only Knew

A couple of years ago a realization broke through my thick skull that has changed my life.

The ONE and only, JESUS, is all that matters.

You're probably thinking, "That's so cliche." I guess it is. I thought I knew that truth. It wasn't until something happened in my life that made everything around me blur into oblivion. I had two choices:

1. I could choose to believe that things of this world matter more than Jesus.
2. I could choose to believe nothing in this world matters more than Jesus. 

If my hope and happiness lies with anything that is perishable--politics, success, wealth...even my children, family and relationships--then I am lost.

Likewise, if I believe I can take the place of Jesus to anyone on this earth--then I am lost, and exhausted. 

Jesus is the only One who can save me. Such a simple truth. But once I figured that out, it has changed my life.

Peace. Joy. Hope. Love. Freedom. These are gifts that He gives me over and over.

Psalm 84:5

Psalm 84:5

Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.”
John 4:10

 

Driven Out

Fear has been on my mind a lot. Fear can energize or paralyze. It is the instigator for most acts of heroism. It is the culprit in most acts of hatred.

The unknown can cause great amounts of fear and strife. This could be an unknown future. It could also be an unknown lifestyle, culture or religion. 

I had the privilege to teach many different students in my art classes over the years. Each year, for 8 years, a set of students came into my room for 200 days. They completed assignments. They laughed with me, cried with me and confided in me. They enjoyed great successes. They suffered great losses. The students I had the honor to teach spanned the widest spectrum imaginable in socio-economic background, family heritage, intellectual development, religious belief and sexual orientation. My students have been my window to the world.

In this microcosm of diversity I was privileged to see the parts of the human race that bring us together. As humans, we all want the same things. We want unfailing love. We want peace.

It is easy to be afraid of someone I have no relationship with. If all I see is what is presented from a news source or a social media outlet, it is really easy to keep up walls and determine what or who is "right" and "wrong." Making these judgements and building these walls is the direct result of living in fear. 

God tells me over and over not to be afraid. 

"This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9

For so long I have held this verse close to my heart to quiet my own fears about the unknowns in my life. But I think God knows the human heart and the susceptibility of human nature to act out in evil because we are afraid. When we are afraid we keep people out, we ignore people, we rationalize treating them differently, we may even justify acts of violence to drive out those who are unknown to us.

"16 We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. 17 And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence BECAUSE WE LIVE LIKE JESUS HERE IN THIS WORLD.

18 Such love has no fear, because perfect love drives out all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. 19 We love each other because he loved us first."
1 John 4:16-19 NLT/NIV (emphasis added)

The key to finding this perfect love is trust. I have to TRUST that God really means what He says when He tells me His love is UNFAILING. If I am secure in the fact that God loves me, then certainly I should be able to love others.

"But I am like an olive tree, thriving in the house of God.
    I will always TRUST in God’s unfailing love."
Psalm 52:8

This verse hit me in a new way when I read it while contemplating fear.
Olive trees are famous for being able to thrive in the worst conditions, where other trees could not grow or bear fruit, the olive tree could. They are also famous through out many cultures in history for symbolizing peace. From Greek mythology to Arab folk traditions. For Christians, God first promised peace with an olive branch. 

To be like an olive tree would mean that I would be peaceful and thriving in the midst of dry and harsh soil. To TRUST in God's unfailing love means all fear would be driven out, instead of allowing fear to drive out others. To personify the peace offering that is the olive tree in today's world means that I would not act out of fear toward my fellow humans on this earth.

I would not be so arrogant as to say who had the right to be loved like Jesus loves them; like Jesus loves me. No matter what paths they have chosen or not chosen in their life. I am called to love them peacefully. Even if all those around me are yelling to hide or to fight, God said, be courageous. God said to love. Because He loved first.

Plans or People

Planning is probably one of my favorite pastimes. Looking at my color coded calendar full of busyness and activity brings me joy and the feeling of accomplishment. Of course, if I didn't color code and input every activity in my calendar, there is a good chance I wouldn't remember to do anything. So, it is as much out of necessity as it is fun.

Growing up, I would plan my future in my mind and in my play. There was normally an adventure of some sort that included a happily ever after with the love of my life. Watching my own children play, I think this is a pretty normal and healthy way to approach life, even the way we were designed to approach life. 

Lately, I have realized that planning can become an illusion of control. I make plans + I accomplish plans = I am in control. I create checklist + I check off checklist = I am in control. I lock my doors at night + nobody breaks in = I am in control. 

The story of the idol-makers in Isaiah has become all too real for me. 

"The blacksmith makes his no-god, works it over in his forge, hammering it on his anvil--such hard work! He works away, fatigued with hunger and thirst......Part he uses as firewood for keeping warm and baking bread; from the other part he makes a god that he worships....Whenever the need strikes him he prays to it, 'Save me. You are my god.'"

Isaiah 44:12-17 MSG

How often have I labored over plans, working myself into a frenzy to make sure they come to fruition. When a problem arises, how many times do I turn to my own planning and say, "Save me. You are my god." 

Coming up with justifications and excuses for all my planning is probably what I'm best at. "But, I have to plan to make sure bills are paid, the car doesn't break down and my kids are safe and provided for." These are fine things to do and actually necessary and responsible. If the car should break down, it stinks but I can shrug off when small things go wrong.

Sometimes, I am only pretending to trust God. I will ask Him to bless all the plans I'm making as I barrel forward with all my own determination. 

Other times, I genuinely thought I was within His will... and everything falls apart anyway.  Life itself does not go according to plan. It's a little harder to shrug off an event that changes the very core of my existence.  What am I supposed to do with my broken plans and shattered heart? 

"My life's about over. All my plans are smashed, all my hopes are snuffed out."

Job 17:11 MSG

But, He has called me out of my pity party:

"Simply put, if you are not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it goodbye, you can't be my disciple."

Luke 14:33 MSG

When my planning is the source of my security, I have put my trust in the wrong place. I'm no better than the guy hammering an idol out of scrap metal.

"I pray that God, THE SOURCE OF HOPE, will fill you completely with joy and peace BECAUSE YOU TRUST IN HIM. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit."

Romans 15:13 NLT (emphasis added)

Cling

God created us with a void only He can fill. There is a yearning within us we search all our lives to satisfy. Most commonly I try to squeeze earthly things into this space: possessions, accomplishments, relationship. These things are of this broken world and will let me down. God placed within me a desire to be wanted, to be chosen, to be secure. 

His promise:

I’ve picked you. I haven’t dropped you. Don’t panic. I’m with you. There’s no need to fear for I’m your God. I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.

Isaiah 41:9-10, 13 NLT/MSG

He says over and over that He is with me and will hold me up. But I have to reach for Him. 

Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that’s in you, love him with all you’ve got!

Deuteronomy 6:5 MSG

Give it everything you have, heart and soul.

Joshua 1:6 MSG

 When I am searching all over this creation for something to fill me up, I have searched too far. This passage became real for me recently:

1 O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. 3 Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! 5 You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy. 6 I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night.

Ps 63:1-7 NLT

But it was not because I related to wanting God in that way. It was because I wanted other things that way. If I am putting anything but God is in those passages, I have set up for myself an idol. His is the only love that is steadying, unending, life-giving and unfailing.

I kept reading, hoping for something to redeem my idolatry. 

I cling to you;  your strong right hand holds me securely. Ps 63:8 NLT

Clinging. When I think of the word "clinging" I think of someone holding on for dear life. Then I read these verses and the image of God holding on to me kept flashing through my mind.

 

I will hold you up with my victorious right hand...13 For I hold you by your right hand...

Isaiah 41:10b, 13

He is holding on to me. It's my choice whether to cling to Him or let go. 

 

The Root of Peace

There is, what seems to be, an endless amount of discussion from Genesis to Revelation about trees and the meanings we can derive from their existence. So I keep going back to the tree, blindly following it's contours to see what it will teach me within it's branches and roots. 

This verse in Jeremiah has become familiar to me:

"Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans, who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the Lord."

Jeremiah 17:5

It would occur to me in various political seasons or moments when humanity seemed to be hopeless creatures in general. But more recently I have read this passage as if it were speaking directly into myself. 

Cursed are [you] who put [your] trust in [yourself], who rely on [your own] strength and turn [your] heart away from the Lord.

 But then the promise...

 

"But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep in the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit."

Jeremiah 17:7-8

When I rely on myself, I am in constant panic and worry. I turn fragile and like a dried up tree, become stunted in my growth and certainly do not produce anything for His glory. Often when a drought comes, I see it as an excuse to just survive. But God calls me to something greater. He not only wants me to survive the drought--to not even be bothered by it's scorching heat--but produce fruit while I'm at it.

This requires more than I can withstand on my own. To let go of the incessant planning and simply sit with God's word. To stop all of the hand-wringing and lift them up instead.  To close my eyes when I want to look at every angle of each problem one more time.  

"Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:7

The realization that struck me as I was reading this verse over and over was this simple truth: if I am peaceful, I stop striving. I stop trying to fill the void with whatever unhealthy fixation can distract me momentarily. When I am peaceful, all barriers are stripped away and my heart and mind are able to work for Jesus, to produce fruit. The only way for me to be peaceful when drought comes is plant my roots by His stream, again and again, until finally I'm not bothered by the heat.