Plans or People

Planning is probably one of my favorite pastimes. Looking at my color coded calendar full of busyness and activity brings me joy and the feeling of accomplishment. Of course, if I didn't color code and input every activity in my calendar, there is a good chance I wouldn't remember to do anything. So, it is as much out of necessity as it is fun.

Growing up, I would plan my future in my mind and in my play. There was normally an adventure of some sort that included a happily ever after with the love of my life. Watching my own children play, I think this is a pretty normal and healthy way to approach life, even the way we were designed to approach life. 

Lately, I have realized that planning can become an illusion of control. I make plans + I accomplish plans = I am in control. I create checklist + I check off checklist = I am in control. I lock my doors at night + nobody breaks in = I am in control. 

The story of the idol-makers in Isaiah has become all too real for me. 

"The blacksmith makes his no-god, works it over in his forge, hammering it on his anvil--such hard work! He works away, fatigued with hunger and thirst......Part he uses as firewood for keeping warm and baking bread; from the other part he makes a god that he worships....Whenever the need strikes him he prays to it, 'Save me. You are my god.'"

Isaiah 44:12-17 MSG

How often have I labored over plans, working myself into a frenzy to make sure they come to fruition. When a problem arises, how many times do I turn to my own planning and say, "Save me. You are my god." 

Coming up with justifications and excuses for all my planning is probably what I'm best at. "But, I have to plan to make sure bills are paid, the car doesn't break down and my kids are safe and provided for." These are fine things to do and actually necessary and responsible. If the car should break down, it stinks but I can shrug off when small things go wrong.

Sometimes, I am only pretending to trust God. I will ask Him to bless all the plans I'm making as I barrel forward with all my own determination. 

Other times, I genuinely thought I was within His will... and everything falls apart anyway.  Life itself does not go according to plan. It's a little harder to shrug off an event that changes the very core of my existence.  What am I supposed to do with my broken plans and shattered heart? 

"My life's about over. All my plans are smashed, all my hopes are snuffed out."

Job 17:11 MSG

But, He has called me out of my pity party:

"Simply put, if you are not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it goodbye, you can't be my disciple."

Luke 14:33 MSG

When my planning is the source of my security, I have put my trust in the wrong place. I'm no better than the guy hammering an idol out of scrap metal.

"I pray that God, THE SOURCE OF HOPE, will fill you completely with joy and peace BECAUSE YOU TRUST IN HIM. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit."

Romans 15:13 NLT (emphasis added)